April 20, 2017
In this episode we discuss how school gives you zero of the social and interpersonal skills necessary to be successful in life, the best starting point for build nonverbal communication, how to read facial expression and body language to discover hidden emotions, how to become a human lie detector, the secrets super connectors use to work a room, and much more with Vanessa Van Edwards.
Vanessa Van Edwards is the lead investigator at Science of People, a human behavior research lab. She is a Huffington Post columnist and published author. Her work has been featured on NPR, Business Week and USA Today. She has written for CNN, Fast Company and Forbes. Her latest book, Captivate, was chosen as one of Apple’s Most Anticipated Books of 2017.
- School gives you zero of the social and interpersonal skills necessary to be successful in life
- The skills of nonverbal communication can be learned and trained
- Between 60% and 90% of our communication is non-verbal
- Why you shouldn’t put 100% of your eggs in the “verbal communication” basket
- How humans give more weight to non-verbal communication
- What is the best starting point for build nonverbal communication?
- The importance good eye contact & a strong handshake
- Why eye contact creates oxytocin and builds deeper connections
- The “sweet spot” for maintaining good eye contact
- What blind babies teach us about our facial expressions and the universality of much nonverbal communication
- How twins separated at birth have the same nonverbal affectations
- What are micro-expressions and why they are so important
- The facial feedback hypothesis and how our faces create a feedback loop
- The 7 micro-expressions that will change your life
- Research from mental patients who lied to their doctors
- How to read facial expression (or body language) to discover hidden emotions
- The “fake science” myths around human lie detection
- The statistical cues to deceit - things that liars most often do
- Do “truth wizards” exist?
- Average person is 54% accurate in detecting lies
- What is baselining?
- Encoding vs Decoding
- What research on thousands of hours on TED Talks tells us about successful body language & the importance of congruency
- Most people are better at decoding than encoding - start with what you are weakest at
- We cannot cover up what we feel, focus on opportunities where you can thrive instead of places where you are merely surviving
- “The secrets of super-connectors,” how to “work a room” and the specific patterns they use
- How to be someone’s "social savior”
- "Context conversation starters”
- You learn ALOT about someone from a handshake
- Handshakes produce more oxytocin than 3 hours of face to face time
- Make the handshake equal (firmness and direction)